Seasons

 

‘Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.’ ~  Sarah Ban Breathnach

 

I’ve been observing myself.

My body. My face. Changing.

I suppose now is my Autumn.

My hair is more grey than brown.

My skin beginning to sag.

The things I used to be able to hide, show more on my face now.

There is occasional sadness in that mirrored image.

A sense of loss of the person I was.

Amongst that, there is also a huge strength that wasn’t there before.

An inner power that I never previously enjoyed.

A sense of peace finally about who I am.

Yes, I look at young girls with a mild envy of all they have before them but also relief that I don’t need to go back and do it all again.

I want to keep going and with a sense of urgency to get better.

Not for anybody else – as it was in the past, but for me.

In my younger years I was shy, afraid even.

Now, despite some regret over things I could have done with more thought and less haste, I am happy in my own skin.

Despite it’s age.

There is truth in my years.

Not just life experience but a rawness.

I can now stand naked in the mirror and my first thought is not what I can change but what I can love more.

How can I surrender and allow more of the inner me to surface.

 

‘When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender some more.’ – Gabrielle Bernstein

 

How can I become more fearless than I am?

How can I be more powerful in my presence?

Because I can.

Letting more of myself go – the image I once held in my mind of how I was going to turn out.

Once I do that, another beautiful part of me emerges.

A piece of me I never knew existed, an amazing and more wonderful part.

One that was hiding behind the fear and shyness.

Disappearing behind the ‘need to fit’.

Just stopping to allow myself the time to become is an amazing journey – a gift.

Can you give yourself a gift?

Can more of you emerge if you just stop?

Let go. Release. Love who you are.

Yours Authentically

Emma

 

You can read more of me on Medium

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4 thoughts on “Seasons

  1. I loved your blog. Having gone through a tough week it’s given me a lift to read this, a lot resonates with me and the changes I want and need to make

    Xxx

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    1. Hi Debbie.
      I am so pleased that you enjoyed the blog, but especially that it gave you such a lift.
      I hope you will keep reading for more.
      Emma 🌻

      Like

  2. Maybe a body can be perceived as being in a late summer/ early autumn, but perhaps the mind can be viewed as being in a second spring. An unspecified winter has passed enabling a different awakening? Or maybe it’s all a futile defence mechanism recognising that life is on the wane (slowly), but on the wane nevertheless. Regardless of how the epiphany is construed, it is nevertheless a turning point. The physical body can tolerate less, it needs more rest, but it can still be trained to do more than what one thinks is possible. I’d emphasise that the realisation turning point isn’t a time to rue, not to rest on ones laurels, but rather use the mental enlightenment to achieve more.
    ‘Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light’.

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  3. Gareth. I absolutely agree.

    In our youth despite our energy we lack the knowledge or ability to reflect on the things we have achieved. I for one lacked courage to press forward and know what I was capable of.

    I agree too that this part of my life could be classed as a second spring. I certainly feel that way. An Autumn of the mind. A slowing in some ways…that refection, knowledge allows me to know a little deeper what I am actually capable of. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally too.

    I love the passage. I may have to keep that somewhere as a reminder to myself.

    Thank you for your comments.

    Emma 🌻

    Like

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